A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Snackin' on a Flower

Hidey Ho,

It was a great day, sun was shining, we had a three mile walk around the block, and some great kibble mix for breakfast. We were holding out for the extra canned food treat, don't quite understand why we didn't get it, the hunger strike worked yesterday, but not today. Eventually we gave in to our hunger pangs and ate the dry crunchy stuff anyway.

We must perfect our 'give me canned food or give me death' look before tomorrow.

I kept telling Tito it was important how we projected from our eyes. It will get us what we want every time. Maybe we should switch to the 'pitiful puppy' look. At any rate, we will get it; we will have to pay closer attention to when to use it. Our humans are very predictable. We will have to nail the look then we will get that tasty canned food every time..... Trust me we WILL have these humans eating our of our paws any day now. Just you watch.

Back to the story.

After our leisurely breakfast, I sauntered out to the back yard and grabbed my favorite chew toy. I came back into the house, and gave Tito 'The Look'. You know, a sideways glance as I slithered by him ever so slowly, brushing against his side. We stopped. Our eyes were locked on each other. No, don't, don't dare to move even a tiny muscle. Slowly, we began to circle around each other. We stopped again. I felt like I was breathing in expectation. Suddenly, Tito launched for my toy.

"Nope SUCKER I am OUTTA HERE!!!!" I bolted for the open sliding glass door. Tito was right beside me. The rug went flying, "Hey you two!!" we heard Cherry Pie's admonition trailing behind us. No time to say SORRY, we were ON!!!

I banked a hard left, dodged the kennels, and the patio table and chairs. I felt my toenails grind against the cement. Great traction, but not as good as the grass. I glanced left, Tito was hot on my little pom-pom tail.

My strategy was to make like I was heading for the Gazebo. Once I got within a foot if it, I banked hard right and kicked up the speed as I made a dash for the side yard. Darn it. Tito was able to read my body language. I couldn't shake him. He was right beside me, trying to grab my toy!!!

I dug even harder into the grass and with a little more push I was able to shift into high gear. I might be a little shorter than Tito, but I have stronger leg muscles. I gained a foot distance from him. Next thing I knew we were at the loop.

The side yard has what we call the roundabout. It is perfectly shaped for us to make a graceful turn and not loose any momentum. I negotiated the turn and poured it on!!!!

"Wooo Hoooo, catch me now sucka!!!!!" I wove between two trees, and ended up slightly banking off the concrete curbing right in front of the yellow snapdragons.... "Oh No....Cherry Pie will kill us for sure if we smash up the flowers."

Tito was egging me on, "I'm ON it, Gimme." (to human hears it sounds like some strange kind of guttural growls).

Through some miracle, probably at the hand of Quan Yin (she is a concrete statue of a Chinese goddess who stands inches behind the curbing amidst the flowers), I managed to keep from careening off course. I kicked a hard left and leapt right through the rusty iron door of the gazebo. "Whew....THAT was a close one." I planted my front paws and stopped. My chest heaved, trying to get air pumped into my body.

Tito wasn't able to match my pirouette. He ended up smashing his head into the iron bars of the gazebo. It made a sickening metal on head sound, kinda like a dull ringing of a bell.

"What in the HELL is goin' on out here?" Cherry Pie stuck her head out of the sliding glass door. Her eyes were ablaze, and she had what Head Poodle calls her work face look. Her eyebrows were now only one brow, with a few wrinkles thrown in for good measure.

YIKES!!!! We knew we were in trouble.

I looked over at Tito, who was still reeling from the knock to the noggin, but he still had presence enough to look straight at Cherry Pie.

"Good lord, you two CALM DOWN. It isn't even 8 o'clock in the morning and the two of you are already at it. Get in here!" Cherry commanded.

We stood stock still. I, with the chew toy still hanging tantalizingly out of the corner of my mouth. Tito, was still having trouble focusing. You know, he had that circle buzz goin' on just like the cartoon characters on TV get after they get a good bonk to the head.

It was a standoff.

Cherry Pie yelled, "Get in here." We looked puzzled. Then she did it. She turned her back on us and went into the house with the word barely audible "cookie." It was a ghost of a word, kinda hanging there right in the middle of the patio. Cookie.

Tito and I looked at each other. I dropped the toy and sprinted for the door. I got there just in time to see Cherry Pie with her hand in the cookie bag.....I was licking my lips.

"Who wants a cookie? Oh, Lula Mae wants a cookie. What a good girl. Here is your cookie."

Tito finally came to, and found his way into the house.

"Oh there you are. Bad boy, how's your head?" Tito still wasn't thinking too straight, but that magical word, Cookie, will bring you around every time.

They are the itty-bittiest cookies, but boy are they tasty. Of course we had to sit first before we could get our cookie. I sit before she even says it nowadays, but Tito was still a bit slow in the head, and it isn't from the knock to the noggin he just received.

He finally sat and got his reward along with a pat on the head, and a bit of an examination.

"No bumps, no lumps. What a goober. Now you two settle down. I suppose next I will have to find a doggie chiropractor," Cherry grabbed her cup of tea and headed for the kitchen table. "Let's see what the mail is this morning," she chirped as she turned on the laptop.

Cherry Pie sure knows how to put a cramp on our style!!! It didn't take long though before she was totally engrossed in opening her electronic mail. We can tell because she gets that very concentrated look on her face, and she quits scolding us.

We slowly headed back outside. Tito ambled off to find his favorite chew bone.

I headed toward the right side of the yard, right outside the kitchen window where Cherry Pie sat contentedly reading her morning mail. I looked at her, but something caught my eye. I quickly turned my attention away from Cherry.

It was a rustling in the bushes. I stopped. Was it the wind? What was going on in there? I looked up, the bird feeders were empty, and hung straight down. There was not a hint of a sway. No wind.

I thought I saw another rustling deep in the bushes. I heard something too. I stopped dead in my tracks. Then it happened. Slowly, ever so slowly, my right paw started coming off the ground. My nose elongated, my back got as rigid as a steel plank, my ears perked up. I froze. Suddenly, I feel like a stone statue. Stiff. Stuck in this weird position. It felt good. It felt right. I don't know how it happened, or even why. Something in me just felt so good standing there pointing with my nose, and my right paw off the ground slightly curled back.

Cherry Pie must have seen me from the window because she suddenly appeared at the door again. "What, what are you pointing at? Is there something in the bushes?" She charged out of the house, rubbed me all over, then started poking around in the bushes. I put my nose right in there too....the spell was broken.

We never found anything in the bushes, but Cherry Pie was very excited. She gave me lots of hugs and pets. "What a good girl. You were pointing. Good girl, good girl."

I still don't know why that feeling suddenly came over me, or how it happened, but it did feel superb.

When Head Poodle came home for lunch, Cherry Pie told her all about our adventures in the morning. She immediately went over and examined Tito's head. "You have such long legs, but you are still a little to wobbly yet, eh? I don't feel anything, are you okay?" Tito looked deeply into her eyes and said, "Yes."

She kissed his nose and whispered, "I love you Tito."

Oh brother, a little knock to the head and ......

Head Poodle then turned her attention to me. She said I was pointing because our ancestors were hunting dogs, and I was doing "What came naturally to me." Whatever that means.

All I knew is it was nap time just as soon as Head Poodle downed that sandwich Cherry Pie was fixing for her. Enough already, I was ready for a good snooze.

Down with Fru-Fru!!!

Lula Mae reporting from the very muddy backyard.

We finally did it!!!! It only took Tito and me less than a week (with the help of visiting grandchildren) to rid me of that horrible smell....Why must those doggy shampoos smell like gurly Zsa Zsa Gabor??? I may look like a gurly-gurl, but let me tell you I am happiest when I have a little mud on me. Cherry Pie says I look like a farm dog, but if you ask ME, I will tell you I am simply in touch with my animal magnetism. Tito will tell you the same. He and I have become fast buddies in the couple of months we have been together.

I came to be a member of this pack at the end of March, just a couple of weeks after Tito. I think Tito told you all that I am an older woman (only 6 months, what's the big deal?). I was born in Minden, Nevada, and in my short lifespan I have been homeless two times.

My first home was in Las Vegas. I had dreams of becoming a showgurl, but they were soon dashed when I began getting into trouble. Now, mind you, I was just a pup. I didn't know eating t-shirts was a bad thing. I think I was just born to play a little rough. After all, I am a Taurus, you know the one with the horns? Anyway, I can't really remember that long ago. All I know is my human turned out to be a really mean guy. He had no patience for me as I learned about the world. That made me a little aggressive. I know it is hard for you to see right now, but I must admit to getting into a bit of trouble. Kinda like the teenage humans my new owner, Cherry Pie, teaches at her school. Good thing Cherry Pie thinks I am a good gurl. She sees beyond my troubled childhood.

Anyway, I got a few bad breaks before coming to live here. I had another short stint with a family. I didn't like the man human either, nor the poodle boy they wanted me to be buddies with. Their loss. I almost went to live with another girl human, but she did not want to pay for me. All the better.

Now, I am most delighted to report I am a very happy poodle!!!!

When I first came to live here, Head Poodle noticed I was depressed. She said I did not know how to smile. Now, just look at me. I have two mommies, don't have to deal with mean or scary men, Tito is a blast, and I get lots of walks and my favorite... COOKIES!!!! I love to get treats, and I simply adore a good petting session. Sometimes I even demand it when Cherry Pie forgets to love me up. I simply jump and put my head in her lap. I refuse to leave until I have had my fill of lovin'. I can be a bit needy, I admit it, but hey I have a lot to catch up on.

When I first got here, I was on my best behavior because I thought I might be shuttled off AGAIN....I was very afraid to get into the car because every time I did in the past, I got taken to a new home...I soon learned that good things can come from getting in the car with Cherry Pie.

We go for walks, I even like to go with her to Home Depot. Now, to tell the truth, I do have a few bad habits I have developed, but I am undergoing some very extensive treatment. I am even beginning to tolerate other dogs when I am out on a walk. Cherry Pie makes us stop and sit still. Sometimes we get to sniff other humans. That helps me feel less scared. I haven't met too many people, kinda lived in my own little world. No more...My new pack likes to go out a lot!!!! I love the exercise.

I also like my afternoon nap with Head Poodle. Every afternoon, right after lunch, Head Poodle gets on the couch, turns the TV on to someone called Wolf Blitzer (no it isn't one of our cousins, it is a MAN) and soon she starts making music. When we first started this ritual, we were a little worried about her. Tito and I both would go up and sniff her, but pretty soon we learned we did not need to be scared when we heard that strange noise coming out of her mouth. Cherry Pie says she is snoring....we just think it is music to sleep by!!!!

I only have one problem. Cherry Pie has transferred some of her obsessive compulsive behavior disorder onto me...she thinks because I am a cream color, I should always be that way!!!! Wrong O Mary Lu.....Tito helps me get rid of that nasty smell. Every chance we get....we are out in the backyard running and rolling around in the grass. It seems to make Cherry Pie a little cranky.

Good thing we had the cover of the visiting grandkids. When Cherry Pie had her hands full with the little bitty humans, she got so frustrated with Tito and I playing kissey face on the living room floor (I think the boy complained he could not see his favorite cartoon because we were in the way) she shooed us outside. Little did she know the rain the night before had left little puddles all over the yard...Oh HEAVEN....First we didn't notice it either, we were too busy running from one end to the other. We particularly love playing tag. We got out of sight, round the side of the house, and voila!!!! We were able to roll around and play kissey face without anyone complaining. That is until we heard the call, "Poodles!!!".

Tito and I looked at each other, trying to ignore Cherry. Then we could not ignore her anymore. "Who wants some cookies?" Oh NO, there is that word...it makes my mouth water just hearing it. Tito and I looked at each other and ran as fast as we could to the back door.

"Oh My Gawd! Oh NO. Lula Mae, you are a very naughty girl. Tito you too!!!!" Seems Cherry noticed my condition. No worries after that. She did give us the tiniest cookie, but she let us play after that. We had been longing to run, romp, play in our fabulous backyard....it had been several days. Cherry Pie thought she could divert our nature by keeping such a close eye on our play.

All I can say is, "Thanks Rach and B. We will even play with you and your toys too!!!"

Tito got caught trying to kidnap a stuffed monkey. That Cherry Pie has a pretty sharp eye. He was slinking around and almost got to the back door before getting busted. I tried to run cover for him, distracting Cherry as she pet me. She caught him anyway.

Even better, we got booted outside for another romp in the mud. HEAVEN.

Tito here,

Ummm.....well, we started the day being very, very good. It was a lazy morning, slept until 7:30...We love the summer, we have decided. We get to stay up late and sleep in even later!!!!

Head Poodle fed us, then she went a bit crazy. She mowed the front lawn, two different ways so there was this checkerboard pattern to the grass (shhhh....she is secretly in competition with the guy across the street).

Meanwhile, Lula and I wait. It is a beautiful day, and we haven't been on a walk in two whole days....an eternity in dog years...We play around while Head Poodle mows the backyard. We haven't made as much contact with Head Poodle, she can't hear us saying, "Hey, thanks for picking up the poop!!!" She just yells at us when we race around her and that noisy lawn mower. I wonder what the neighbors think with that going on at 8 in the morning on a Sunday....Let me tell you this, when that Ritalin kicks in, everyone better watch out!!!! I swear she had both front and back lawns mowed in record time. What a girl.

When Cherry Pie finally got up, Head Poodle couldn't wait to get her out front. HP was so excited, "Let's go look at the estate!" She drags Cherry Pie out to look at the nice patterns and asks, "How does it look? I was watching, but Louie wasn't around. Do you think he will be impressed?"

"It does look wonderful," Cherry mumbles as she stumbles back into the house.

Both Lula Mae and I fight to look out the tiny window by the front door.

"I'm going to take the poods for a walk." Now you must know, WE know the word walk. Oh, Yeah....We immediately start shouting, Yes, Yes, Yes!!!!! Even little Mommy, or as she is more affectionately known around this household as "The Mominator" starts her little dance and begins to make that awful groaning, whining sound. Kinda grates on the nerves. We are so excited, everyone starts turning circles....

"Wait, wait, I want to go to." Cherry Pie chimes in.

Oh no, we don't want to wait. Neither does HP...."but you aren't ready!!!! We are ready to go NOW." The chorus on four feet agree....

"I am too ready, just watch." Sure to her word, she comes out very quickly in her walking clothes.

The party is on man....everyone lines up at the door to get the collars on. First is Lula Mae, then me (Cherry Pie had a bit of a time getting the thing latched. I had to be extra special patient with her. Okay, I thought, she hasn't even had a cup of tea this morning).

HP just stands and watches.

There is a big difference when HP gets the collars on us. She is Q U I C K..... Poor Cherry Pie isn't as strong, but we are patient with her because we know we are almost out the door...

Finally, we hit the street. HP is ready to hit it pretty hard, and Cherry Pie and The Mominator realized pretty quick they would not be able to keep the pace HP wanted to hit. We went one way, they went another.

It was a great walk, we were very excited to be MOVING....

When we got home, the humans immediately jumped in the shower. They had decided to go to a movie, Hangover. Uh Oh, it's the kennels for us. No worries though, we are ready for a siesta.

June 12-Tito's Confessions

Tito here.

A fairly uneventful day in the neighborhood. Saw a couple of humans on my walk with Cherry Pie-Lula Mae's human. We take shorter walks than when my human, Head Poodle, takes us. She is the sporty mama. Head Poodle got her name because her hair is as curly as mine!!!! Lula Mae and I voted to make her pack leader.

It kinda pisses off Cherry Pie when we say Head Poodle is pack leader, but hey, she will get over it. Head Poodle has been taking us out for our daily walk for months now. Cherry Pie is an upstart. Since school got out, she has taken over the leashes. We have a different pace when Cherry Pie takes us out, and we get to stop and sniff more humans. She says Lula Mae needs more socializing.

I kinda like what Head Poodle calls Lula Mae. Shaka Screw Loose. Lula tends to go off the deep end from time to time, usually on men. Good thing we have a two mommy household. To tell you the truth, I go off from time to time too. I particularly don't like humans in hats, on bicycles, or wearing billowy skirts....its kinda like scary man....It is also a bit embarrassing when I find myself dancing around the legs of Cherry when those particular soft spots of mine get pushed.

So Lula Mae has a screw loose, and I am a fraidy cat (only a couple of things though). Remember, I am just a baby. Today I am 8 months old. I am a big ass baby, but a baby nonetheless. Give me some time, and a little more walks around the block, and I will have it all down. Besides, what's life without a few wrinkles? BORING....that's what I call it.

Oh, another thing, Lula Mae got a ride in the car today. I knew something funny was going on when I heard Cherry Pie telling someone on the phone, "She looks like a farm dog." I had just come in from the backyard, so I didn't quite get who she was talking to, but the minute Cherry picked up the leash and put it on Lula Mae, I knew something was UP....next thing I know I get one of those cookie bribes to get in my kennel, and I hear the sliding glass door lock. I have to tell you it got me ROARING....

I settled down for a couple of chomps on my tasty, big honking bone. A little later I dozed off. Seems like I dreamed something about chasing Lula around. I heard the garage door open, so I sounded the alarm....Next thing I see, Head Poodle. I am liberated!!!....not much longer after that, I hear the garage door again. In comes Lula Mae...all WHITE again....man, it took us a couple of weeks to get her that nice dirt/grass smell permeating her fur. Now, they have gone and done it again.

I do have to say, she looked pretty good. Just like the first day I saw her. I followed her outside, away from the prying eyes of those humans of ours, and we no sooner got a good race going when, "LULA!!!!! Get IN here..." What a way to spoil a great romp. We tried to ignore Cherry Pie, but she is a sly one. We call her, Cookie Mommy, because she is ALWAYS using those little bitty cookies to ply us into doing whatever she wants us to do. This time it was to come in the house and quit running through the backyard.

Lula Mae got her back, she rolled all over the carpet, and tried to get the fru-fru smell off by rubbing all over the furniture. She still smells pretty human if you ask me. Frankly, I, like the great Emperor Napoleon, like my women a little musty.

There is always tomorrow. Just you wait and see, we WILL get in a few romps, rolls, and that nasty smell will be gone SOON.....

Besides, Lula Mae has a bit of an attitude when she comes home from the beauty shop. Give me a little more time with her, she will soon be getting in touch with her doggy side again.

Why a Blog???

June 11, 2009

Finally the channel has opened.....after 3 months of extensive multi-dimensional work, primarily consisting of deep iris eye contact, all systems are a go!!!! I have learned a bit of human, and my human has learned POODLESPEAK....Let us first start with introductions.

I, Tito, joined the family in early March of this year. I had started to feel like outcast, something like Jonathan Livingston Seagull, because family after family had visited my home, and no one had chosen me. At first, I was happy to be left with my mom and sibs. I would hide. Once, during a particularly satisfying nap, I had a vision. I saw my human. I knew her when she appeared, Oh ya, I knew I was destined to be her pretty boy. When she came through the front door, it was love at first sight. I even did a back flip for her, just so she would pick me over my sister. I was four and a half months old, when I took the ride, sitting on my human's lap, all the way home. I remember licking her in all my excitement.

When we got home, I met the old lady of the house, a 7 pound Yorkie. Boy was she a crank pot!!!! Even though I was four times her size, she scared me, until we went for a walk together. I had never been on a leash before, let alone out in the big world. That day was a very exciting one for me. Lots to see, sniff, and I was so overwhelmed with joy, I just had to jump up and bite my human on the ear. Boing, boing, boing...all the way around the block.

Then night struck. I was alone in a huge cage, all by myself, howling all night long. The next day, my human took me for another ride in the car. This time we came home with collars, and one that sprayed some stinky stuff when I got too excited, or cried at night.
This went on for two weeks. Daily walks, crying at night despite the stinky spray, then it happened.

Lula Mae entered my life. She is an older woman, five months to be exact, with the curliest cream colored hair, and beautiful apricot ears...when I saw her for the first time, I lost my mind....I turned back flips, raced around the yard, in a feeble attempt to attract attention to myself. Lula Mae was much more interested in sniffing out the smells of the new backyard. When I did get her attention, I learned the reason for her diffidence...this was her third human. She was understandably scared. Lula Mae was the Little Orphan Annie of the poodle world. I tried to tell her this is a good home, good humans, and she could trust them. It took her a little while to warm up to the new family she found herself in.

Today, three months later, we are inseperable....We love walks, chew bones, play kissey face daily, eat a few flowers when no one is watching, but most of all we LOVE to race...Sometimes I let Lula Mae win, she still needs a little reassurance. Tisk, tisk not, I am no push over, when the cream colored angel gets too pushy, I put her in her place. I still have a lot of growing to do, but at 50 pounds, and 27" at the shoulder, I am slowing down. Good thing, my owner says...."I hadn't counted on a giant." Miss Lula Mae is a couple of inches shorter than I am, but she outweighs me by five pounds. I will chatch up with her soon, no worries.

We try to bring the Old Lady Yorkie into the Poodle Club, but she shuns our attempts. She gets to sit with our humans up on the chair all the time. Lula Mae and I horn in on the action every chance we get....

We have lots of things we are still very puzzled about. Now we have a voice-so stay tuned....

Our human says she has lots of things she wonders about too. We have long talks. Shhhh don't tell her, but we will keep you posted!!!!