I, Lula Mae, do solemnly swear NEVER to eat another sock. I do, really, I do.
It all started with Cherry Pie, it is HER fault. You see it went down, ahem, like this:
Veteran's Day, Wednesday, Cherry Pie goes to pick up the grandkids for the day. After she arrives with them in tow, we get out of the kennels, Yay, Hooray....course we were only there a few minutes, but it seemed like hours. Tito and I were ready to play, big time.
The little bitty humans let us out. Tito licked Ms. Rachel, his favorite little human. She always complains. I guess I can see her point, Tito had dog food breath.
Anyway, we got to get a good romp on in the backyard while Cherry Pie, B, and Rach had a snack.
At first it seemed like a treat to get out of those kennels and exercise a bit. Turns out it was a ruse to get us out of the house. Let me blame this one on Tito AGAIN. He cannot keep his long, hairy nose off the table when the kids are eating. Causes all kinds of ruckus. Cherry Pie always ends up with the veins in her neck sticking out like she is about to stroke out. I feel sorry for her.
Me, I am a little angel. I just sit on the floor and WAIT for a crumb to come my way. Not Tito, he is actively recruiting a snack from one or both of the grandkids.
So, out we went. We had a great romp. Who needs snacks when there is a hurried need to stretch out the legs and feel the speed?
That is until the speed runs out, and we sit longingly looking in through the sliding glass door. Cherry Pie give us a nod every now and then, but hey, we want in. Can ANYBODY hear us???? Let us in. We promise to be good.
Doesn't happen. The house gets quiet, we hear the alarm lady saying the garage door is open, the SUV starts up, and all is quiet. After making as much racket as we can, we finally settle down for a nap in the sunshine. Still a bit cold outside, but not bad in the sunshine.
We awake from our nap, and still no humans. Tito and I decide to go exploring. Cherry Pie has made a short makeshift fence to keep us out of the side yard. Wrong O MaryLou....we bust that sucka down in no time flat. It is kinda boring on that side of the house, all except for the spigot....a couple of months ago Tito and I figured out how to get some water out of it. Not much mind you, but with a little tweak we can get the flow going. It is always nice to have some fresh water. After playing keep away with a plastic bowl, which accidentally got torn to shreds, honest, it was an accident, we enjoyed another little nap in the sun.
Finally, the humans return with lots of bags....Cherry Pie took pity on us and let us in the house. The little humans began playing with their new toys, and Cherry Pie started taking the tags off the new clothes.
We were totally ignored. What? We have been in this backyard for 2 hours all alone. What is Cherry Pie thinking? You know she always gets a bit scattered with the little bitty humans are here. They get all her attention. To tell you the truth, I get more than a little bit jealous....
Cherry finally came outside and decided to clean up the backyard. That's when she discovered the water running on the side of the house. OOPS, sorry Cherry. Next she sees the broken plastic bowl, double OOPS....by now Cherry is grumbling big time.
B and Rach wanted to ride their tricycles on the patio. She goes in the house to help them get their bikes outside.
Now this is where the story gets really juicy...pay close attention.
The little humans are busy playing on the patio, riding their bikes. Cherry Pie is complaining something about Poodle poop as she cleans up after us, when I find the mother lode....
In the house a sock....I don't even think twice. I grab that sucker and out the door I ran with it in my mouth. I trotted by Tito, he ignored me too. What??? I just threw down the gauntlet, he didn't bite. I decided to romp on by Cherry as she was muttering under her breath. Suddenly, she dropped the pooper scooper and decided she would chase me.
VICTORY.....Now we're talkin'. I dodged right, she went right. I dodged left, she went left. She had me cornered....I had to think quick. I tried to back away, she still came at me. Boy she looked real mad. I couldn't think. I couldn't get away. What else could I do? You guessed it.
I ate the sock.
A gulp was all that could be heard.
You should have seen Cherry Pie's face. It was priceless. Her mouth fell open, she stood stock still. The whole world stopped.
Then she just turned away from me, and walked into the house. The little bitties were trailing not far behind.
"What's wrong, grandma?" B and Rach both pleaded with their grandma to tell them what was wrong with her.
She walked into the house like a zombie, and sat down on the couch. I followed her into the house too. The two kids wanted to read a book, so that is what she did.
Every now and then she would look up from the book and ask me, "What are we going to do with you?"
Finally, she called her daughter.
"You have to call the vet. They will probably want her to come in. You can bring the kids to me at work."
Cherry called the vet, and sure enough that is what the plan would be.
Everyone rushed around and got ready, B with only one sock. He complained mightily about that.
HA!!! is all I could say, but I don't think he heard me.
It was a short ride to where we needed to drop off the children. I waited in the car. I did try to escape, but Cherry was too fast for me.
The veterinarian was only across the street from where the kids were dropped off.
"Is this the sock eating poodle?" the receptionist asked.
"Yep," is all Cherry said.
We were put immediately into the room to await the vet. As soon as I got in there, let me tell you I remembered the last time I was there. They took out my insides. That did not make me very happy. I decided to sit in Cherry Pie's lap...well, I tried anyway. There wasn't much room on that little bench. I cozied up to her as best as I could when the vet suddenly appeared.
"Miss Lula Mae, what have you been up to?" She is a nice lady, but I wasn't in the mood to tell her ANYTHING....
The two of them had a short conversation about what they were going to do to me and how much it would cost. The next thing I know a big guy comes and drags me out of the room.
"Hey, wait a minute!!!" I screamed and put on the doggie brakes. All to no avail.
They gave me a shot, and pretty soon I started to feel real SICK man....My stomach started churning, and churning, and I started puking, and puking, and finally really puking. It took me a bit to get that sock out. Man did that give me a sore throat.
There were three people hanging around me just waiting for that sock to make its appearance again. The one guy with a glove on grabbed it quickly.
"The doc says to watch you real close. The last time she had to do this to a dog, as soon as he yakked it up, he ATE it AGAIN!!!! That isn't going to happen this time." Frankly, I had no desire to eat that thing again.
I don't know what they gave me, but my world was rockin' and a rollin' for the rest of that night. Tito was very worried about me. He kept licking me, and smelling my breath. I think he thought I was drunk or something.
Thank gawd Cherry Pie took pity on me and helped me go outside to pee before I finally crashed in my bed. Nighty-nite time never was so sweet.
The very next morning, before Cherry was even out of bed, I grabbed Head Poodle's sock and tried to run away with it. She really freaked out. Cherry jumped straight out of bed and boy was there a ruckus.
I don't know what all the fuss was about, I was only playin'.......
